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why are you so cute?
it's the only good thing my momma did for me.
who are your top three lady heroes?
our lady, elizabeth warren, because she's a badass, carrie fisher, god rest her soul, and elvira mistress of the dark.
when you were little, what did you want to be?
pretty much just not in the middle of nowhere.
who do you think should run for president in two years?
literally anyone. even if the next election isn't technically until 2020. i'm here for a warren/obama/sanders administration. i'm not sure how it'd work, but i want it.
what’s the best book you’ve read so far this year? ever?
how much will people judge me if i say that i haven't read any books this year? there's been a lot of shit going on. i haven't had time.
what makes you feel afraid?
probably a whole hell of a lot less than is personally healthy, if i'm being honest. i am not great at making life choices.
what’s your most embarrassing childhood memory?
we're not going to talk about that. if only because i mostly refuse to acknowledge the fact that my childhood was a thing.
if you had the option of adopting a baby fox or baby koala, which one would you choose?
why is this the hardest goddamn question so far? this isn't fair.
what’s your dream job?
professional puppy petter. but i guess where i work now is pretty cool. maybe. just a little.
who is your favorite mythological god/goddess?
do you have any regrets?
probably not nearly as many as i should, but there's definitely a few things in my past i would change if i had the opportunity.
if there was one thing, one lesson, you could tell the world, what would it be?
it's pretty fucking simple: just don't be a dick.
who was your first crush?
zack morris. he was a dreamboat.
if you had to choose between using internet explorer forever, or permanently using an aol e-mail address, which one would it be?
wait... do either of those things exist anymore? i guess i'd be stuck with the aol address?
what do you love about yourself most?
i have a great ass and i'm pretty comfortable with the person i grew up to be.
what don’t you like so much?
the fact that i'm not married to alexander skarsgard, for starters.
which house would you belong to in game of thrones? like, very honestly.
targaryen, without a fucking doubt.
if you got a (new) tattoo, what would it be of?
i keep thinking i should go get tattooed, but i haven't really had the time recently. not that i've really thought about what the hell i'd get. i have no idea. i'm awful at this.
what would you like to eat for your last meal?
a bucket of kfc original recipe, red lobster's cheddar bay biscuits, a ceasar salad, kraft mac and cheese and two pints of ben and jerry's phish food ice cream. i'm assuming i'm going to be executed, so i might as well make it worth it.
if you had to be on a reality tv show, which one would you choose?
road rules. whatever happened to road rules? is it still around? is mtv still around?
real jeans or jeggings?
it depends entirely on what i'm wearing.
who has influenced you the most?
do you like going window shopping?
no, because window shopping means i don't get to take things home with me and i like things.
what's your favorite color? song? movie? band? tv show? person? (that better be me!)
• pink and teal.
• i don't have just one, but itunes says my most played song is gold dust woman.
• best little whorehouse in texas.
• jason isbell and the 400 unit. for the moment.
• battlestar glacatica, always and forever.
• the barista who made me my coffee just now... and faith, i guess.
can you tell if someone is lying to you?
i like to think that i'm pretty good at it, and i have no qualms about calling people on their shit when it's necessary, too.
have you ever had a long lasting disease?
like any idiot teenager who kissed a lot of people, i wound up with mono and it put me out of commission for about a month and a half. so that was fun.
do you have any undiscovered or hidden talents? if so, what?
if they're undiscovered, how would i know about them?
has any particular book influenced you or left a life-changing impact?
tom robbins still life with the woodpecker, the guidebook for pokemon sun and moon, the hellblazer dangerous habits arc and the kama sutra. i'm not sure any of those actually count, but. 🤷
have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
more than once. but i've also been a shithead and backed off from fights where i probably could have made a difference.
have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
everyone's rock bottoms are different. i've gotten pretty damn close to mine, but i've managed to claw my way out by some goddamn miracle every time.
did you ever have really embarrassing crushes when you were little?
i totally had a big fat crush on my forth grade science teacher. his name was mr peterson and he was a dreamboat.
do you dream often?
probably more often than i actually rememeber them.
have you ever eaten crocodile or snake meat?
i'm a poor kid from wyoming, what do you think?
do you believe in love at first sight?
infatuation, definitely. i don't think love just happens, though. love takes work.
do you like winter time?
i'm starting to really hate it... please come back, bikini weather.
have you ever lost someone you really loved?
it was really tough parting ways with mr peterson. ten year old marissa will never get over it.
what was your favorite thing about college?
the fact that i didn't go.
when was the last time you really cut loose and had a good time?
probably during the valentine's day ball. i mean, i'm usually just trying to have a good time, but that was the last time i remember that the world wasn't totally going to shit.
on the first day of ruling the world, what would you do?
publicly shame donald trump for crimes against humanity.
if you were forced to open a bakery, what would you name it?
for goodness cakes. no argument. and we would exclusively make erotic cakes.
what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done on a date?
are you implying that i'm weird? i once had a guy eat all my french fries while i was in the bathroom. so i ate his dessert right in front of him.
what do you hope to achieve by 50?
not dying is the only thing i'm hoping to accomplish by any age.
what has been your best moment this year (so far)?
i honestly can't think of a single one. i'm not sure what that says about me.
would you rather be stuck in traffic for two hours, or have chipotle run out of guacamole forever?
chipotle running out of guacamole. because i hate chipotle and don't go there anyway.
what are your favorite lyrics?
this whole goddamn song.
if you could either be a duck or an owl, which would you be?
neither? i live in an apartment in boston. and have you ever met a fucking duck? ducks are fucking mean.
who's your favorite landlord?
oh. wait... were you expecting a different answer?
what do you do in your spare time that most people wouldn't expect?
when i'm all alone, i like to turn the lights down low, put on some slow jams, light some candles and... crochet. that's right, i crochet shit that would make your grandma proud.
do you collect anything?
vintage jewelry, anthropomorphic taxidermy, sheet music from classic horror movies and miscellaneous junk that i buy on a whim because it's fucking cool and i want it.
what's your favorite time of the year?
when it stops being so fucking cold in boston all the goddamn time and i can wear a tank top without having to also carry around a northface jacket.
oatmeal raisin cookies: heaven sent, or the devil's dessert?
raisins are the devil's turds, put on this planet for no other reason than to make you regret your choices.
if you could only drink one alcoholic beverage for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
hudson baby bourbon... because if i'm drinking to get fucked up, then i'm going to make it really count.
what's your go-to method of waking up when you're tired as fuck?
bang one out, a hot shower, coffee and a huge stack of pancakes to furiously devour. usually in that order.
what's the better chocolate: milk, dark, or white?
dark chocolate. all day, every day and anyone who says otherwise is just as wrong as the guy who says "jif" instead of "gif."
what's one thing that's totally overrated in your opinion?
literally every single kardashian on the planet. all of them. they're awful.
if you could be friends with any fictional character, who would you choose and why?
jigsaw. i don't think i should have to explain myself.
what five songs are you currently obsessed with?
ryan adams, doomsday, brian fallon nobody wins, lizzo & caroline smith let 'em say, sister sparrow & the dirty birds mama knows, zz ward put the gun down.
if you can magically pick up any talent or hobby and be good at it, what would it be?
what if i'm already good at everything i want to be good at? i mean, i've got the bartending and the music thing dialed in, and that's all i really care about. i could probably be a better driver, though?
if you really want to change or impact the world, where would you begin?
given the current political climate in our country, it's pretty safe to say that i'd start with the white house. i didn't finish high school, but i'm fairly confident that i could be a better commander-in-chief than president cheeto.
what food never fails to gross you out?
fried okra. it's literally the most disgusting fucking thing i have ever put in my mouth... which is saying a lot.
where do you see yourself in 10 years? what would you want to see?
honestly, i don't really look that far ahead. my life has always been a little transitory, so i've gotten used to playing things by ear and just taking things a day at a time.
what book has influenced you the most?
i very nearly just copied and pasted the response i put to faith's question here, but i'm gonna make ya work for it instead.
what did you want to be when you were growing up?
i grew up in a small ass town where people's biggest aspirations are to either be a waitress at the local greasy spoon or to just get the fuck out. i got out. and i got to be a rockstar for a while. so that was pretty cool.
if you could master one skill you don't have right now, what would it be?
you know, when i was answering this for naomi, i couldn't come up with anything, but i think i would like to learn how to swallow swords. i did teach myself how to eat fire when i was super young and living in jersey, but it's been a while since i did that.
would you rather be a jack of many trades or a master of one?
that's sort of where i'm at right now. i mean, i'm pretty good at the trades i've picked up, but i don't necessarily know that i've mastered any of them. i think there's always room to learn and grow and improve, no matter how long or how proficent you are... but i could also just be trying to be humble, because i'm pretty fucking good at what i do.
who is your personal hero?
i'm gonna reiterate what i've already said: elizabeth warren, because she's a badass on so many levels. we should all look at her with little heart eyes. i would very much like her to adopt me. even if i'm a grown ass woman. oh, and also baymax. because he's a precious baby angel and i want to give him a hug.
what's the furthest you've ever been on holiday?
when i first got married, a million years ago, we honeymooned in the maldives. it was pretty rad and in hindsight, probably the high point of our marriage.
what's your favorite swear word?
fuck, because it's versatile and can be combined with damn near any other word to make a fun compound. also, cockwomble. british people are adorable.
if you could learn any language fluently what would it be?
i guess i'd just like my spanish to be better? i lived in texas for long enough that i picked up enough to be conversationally passible, but that's about it.
what's the last thing you took a picture of?
my idiot dog playing with a donut shaped dogtoy stuck to his face.
can you blow bubbles with bubblegum?
wait... are there really people who can't do this? what is wrong with them?
do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
sunrises, i guess...
what's the most unusual conversation you've ever had?
unusual is all a matter of perspective in boston these days.
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